MY POOR FELLOW OF RHYMES

On my poor fellow of rhymes,
He lived in very tough times,
Plagues, famines and wars,
Gave unending encores,
Alas, my poor fellow felt guilt for the crimes.

KITCHEN GARDEN

All the vegetative-like matter growing under the sink and in the refrigerator.

FIRE HYDRANT

An object a dog will always find even if the dog does not have a k-9 designation.

TORTURE CHAMBER

Car pooling to work with the windows up on the morning after everyone went out for a dinner of beer, brats and cabbage.

WORKING HALF DAYS

My reward for showing up half of the time.

USED CAR DEALER

A person who's positive comments regarding his inventory could be used to make your petunias bloom in vivid colors.

A BRIDGE TOO FAR

The reason my dentist said he needed an extra $5,000 to make me a set of false teeth.  He said I had an unusually wide mouth.

ALIEN LIFE FORM

Exists under the front seat of my car.  Lives on french fries, Big Gulps.  Afraid of vacuum noise.

CAST AN EYE TO OUR YARD SUGAR PIE

Cast an eye out to our yard dear Sugar Pie,
Winter's receeded, see what lay and what lie,
Our neat yard has not winter weathered,
I feel tarred and then feathered,
We'll be picking up sticks as we watch the stars die,

TRAVEL TRAILER

A mobile home during a tornado.

BASIC NEEDS

Food, Water and video games.

SWIMMER'S ITCH

The result of taking too many baths.