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Sunday, December 27, 2015

PUMPING IRON

When my well fills up my washing machine.  The reason my white shirts always look like they were soaked overnight in dog urine.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

SINISTER FORCES

Those who developed hard-shell clam-packs.  Can't be opened with knives, scissors, saws or, blowtorches.  Meanwhile, my kid wants her dolly.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

TERMITE

Nasty bug that eats wood.  Reason George Washington soaked his dentures in insecticide.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

PRODIGY

A person who can do something better than myself. I am great at everything I do therefore, if someone does something better than I then, they must be a prodigy.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

YOGA

Eastern Definition:  An exercise in mind/body control.
Western Definition:  A TV show people watch when they can't afford to rent porn.